5 Tips to Help Cultivate Belonging in School
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5 Tips to Help Cultivate Belonging in School
Dr. Amanda Sunderman
Director
Cultivating a sense of belonging in school with students can have a powerful impact on their academic motivation, connection to school, mental and physical health1. In 1990, Baumeister and Leery published their groundbreaking article, The Need to Belong. This research placed belonging as an essential need and posited that humans are naturally motivated to form social connections2. When an individual believes they have positive and close relationships with others, which creates a sense of belonging and mutual care, they are more likely to develop a sense of social connection3. Students experience belonging in different ways but belonging is often experienced through students' sense of acceptance with peers, support network, feelings of respect, and connection with the environment and others4. A student’s sense of social connection is important for promoting a sense of belonging and well-being which can impact school success, university matriculation, and later adulthood success such as social connection, physical health, and mental health5.
Tip 1: Help Students Feel Seen
Help students to feel seen. Hello is a simple word in many languages, but one with power. Saying hello and greeting each student helps them to feel they are seen by the adults around them, even if it is a micro interaction in the hallway. The adults should be modeling this at school but parents can do so too in the right environments. This helps students to feel comfortable with finding opportunities to model what the adults are doing and to make others feel seen.
Tip 2: Engage in School Activities
Encourage students to engage in school activities, but find ones that feel authentic. Many students feel the pressure to develop the perfect resume of activities for university, but I believe what stands out to universities is passion and sustained engagement. It may take some time for a student to find the right fit, keep encouraging them to try out activities. A good fit activity is often a mix of the actual activity, the peers, and the teacher leading the group. It can be sports, theater, band, debate, Model United Nations, coding, robotics, you name it…but what matters is that each student has a place to engage socially and challenge themselves. In these activities, students find peers with similar interests and this lends itself to developing social connection and a sense of positively belonging.
Tip 3: Model Being an Upstander
An upstander is a person who sees a problem and finds a way to work towards a solution. When students learn from their parents and the adults in their lives that they can be upstanders, it is empowering. For example, I recently had 4th grade students come to me asking about a problem they had and later that same day a 12th grader came to talk about a concern he had about a friend. In both cases, the students took the initiative and came to my office. I was so proud of the confidence and leadership skills the students are developing at the American International School of Vilnius. Our students saw a problem and they engaged in finding a solution. Family members can model this in everyday life and talk to their children about being an upstander. It is empowering and develops confidence when students can engage in problem solving.
Tip 4: Cultivate Confident Kindness
As humans, we are drawn to confidence. For students who are not naturally confident, it is important to help them understand that confidence manifests itself in more than one way. I believe that true confidence is an inner peace with yourself, an acceptance that who you are is absolutely enough. When students can be confident and kind at the same time, it not only helps them, it draws other students closer. We all want to be around confident people, but we really want to be around those who are confident and kind.
Tip 5: Connect Your Student with a Mentor
Mentoring can be a powerful tool in developing a sense of belonging for students. When a student has a healthy peer or adult mentor to guide them through life’s challenges, it extends the support network they already have with their parents. When a student has positive perceptions of their mentoring relationship, they are more likely to report a greater sense of belonging and higher levels of well-being6. There are many more ways to cultivate belonging in schools, but these simple tips can help parents also engage in helping their child feel a sense of belonging. It is worth noting that oftentimes feeling a sense of belonging takes cultivation and effort. If a parent is feeling their child does not belong, it is important to reach out to the school. For example, at the American International School of Vilnius, we have two dedicated social emotional counselors, a full-time university counselor, and a homeroom teacher for every child. Parents can reach out to the school at any time and we collaborate to support their students.
The best way to discover the AISV spirit is to experience it for yourself. We warmly invite prospective families to join us for our upcoming Open House events, offered both in-person on our campus and virtually for your convenience.
References:
Note: References can be shared via a hyperlink or a QR code.
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Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995), “The need to belong: desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation”, Psychological Bulletin, Vol. 117 No. 3, pp.497–529. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497 |
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Allen, K., Kern, M. L., Rozek, C. S., McInerney, D. M., & Slavich, G. M. (2021), “Belonging: a review of conceptual issues, an integrative framework, and directions for future research”, Australian Journal of Psychology, Vol. 73 No. 1, pp.87–102. https://doi.org/10.1080/00049530.2021.1883409 Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995), “The need to belong: desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation”, Psychological Bulletin, Vol. 117 No. 3, pp.497–529. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497 Maslow, A. H. (1968), Toward a Psychology of Being (2nd ed.), Van Nostrand, New York, NY. Osterman, K. F. (2000), “Students’ need for belonging in the school community”, Review of Educational Research, Vol. 70 No. 3, pp.323–367. https://doi.org/10.2307/1170786 |
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Hawkley, L. C., Hughes, M. E., Waite, L. J., Masi, C. M., Thisted, R. A., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2008), “From social structural factors to perceptions of relationship quality and loneliness: the Chicago health, aging, and social relations study”, The Journals of Gerontology: Series B, Vol. 63 No. 6, pp.375–384. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/63.6.s375 Holt-Lunstad, J., Robles, T. F., & Sbarra, D. A. (2017), “Advancing social connection as a public health priority in the United States”, American Psychologist, Vol. 72 No. 6, pp.517–530. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000103 Seppala, E., Rossomando, T., & Doty, J. R. (2013), “Social connection and compassion: important predictors of health and well-being”, Social Research, Vol. 80 No. 2, pp.411–430. https://doi.org/10.1353/sor.2013.0027 Suragarn, U., Hain, D., & Pfaff, G. (2021), “Approaches to enhance social connection in older adults: an integrative review of literature”, Aging and Health Research, Vol. 1 No. 3, pp.1–9. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ahr.2021.100029 |
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Allen, K., Kern, M. L., Vella-Brodrick, D., Hattie, J., & Waters, L. (2018), “What schools need to know about fostering school belonging: a meta-analysis”, Educational Psychology Review, Vol. 30 No. 1, pp.1–34. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-016-9389-8 Allen, K., Kern, M. L., Rozek, C. S., McInerney, D. M., & Slavich, G. M. (2021), “Belonging: a review of conceptual issues, an integrative framework, and directions for future research”, Australian Journal of Psychology, Vol. 73 No. 1, pp.87–102. https://doi.org/10.1080/00049530.2021.1883409 Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995), “The need to belong: desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation”, Psychological Bulletin, Vol. 117 No. 3, pp.497–529. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497 Bizumic, B., Reynolds, K. J., Turner, J. C., Bromhead, D., & Subasic, E. (2009), “The role of the group in individual functioning: school identification and the psychological well-being of staff and students”, Applied Psychology, Vol. 58 No. 1, pp.171–192. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1464-0597.2008.00387.x Davis, G. M., Hanzsek-Brill, M. B., Petzold, M. C., & Robinson, D. H. (2019), “Students’ sense of belonging: the development of a predictive retention model”, Journal of the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning, Vol. 19 No. 1, pp.117–127. https://doi.org/10.14434/josotl.v19i1.26787 Gillen-O’Neel, C., & Fuligni, A. (2012), “A longitudinal study of school belonging and academic motivation across high school”, Child Development, Vol. 84 No. 2, pp. 678–692. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2012.01862.x Goodenow, C., & Grady, K. L. (1993), “The relationship of school belonging and friends’ values to academic motivation among urban adolescent students”, Journal of Experimental Education, Vol. 62 No. 1, pp.60–71. https://doi.org/10.1080/00220973.1993.9943831 Jetten, J., Haslam, S. A., Cruwys, T., Greenaway, K. H., Haslam, C., & Steffens, N. K. (2017), “Advancing the social identity approach to health and well-being: progressing the social cure research agenda”, European Journal of Social Psychology, Vol. 47 No. 7, pp.789–802. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2333 Lenton, A. P., Bruder, M., Slabu, L., & Sedikides, C. (2013), “How does ‘being real’ feel? the experience of state authenticity”, Journal of Personality, Vol. 81 No. 3, pp.276–289. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2012.00805.x Ma, X. (2003), “Sense of belonging to school: can schools make a difference?”, The Journal of Educational Research, Vol. 96 No. 6, pp.340–349. https://doi.org/10.1080/00220670309596617 Suragarn, U., Hain, D., & Pfaff, G. (2021), “Approaches to enhance social connection in older adults: an integrative review of literature”, Aging and Health Research, Vol. 1 No. 3, pp.1–9. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ahr.2021.100029 Vaccaro, A., & Newman, B. M. (2016), “Development of a sense of belonging for privileged and minoritized students: an emergent model”, Journal of College Student Development, Vol. 57 No. 8, pp.925–942. https://doi.org/10.1353/csd.2016.0091 |
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Chapman, R. L., Buckley, L., Sheehan, M., & Shochet, I. (2013), “School-based programs for increasing connectedness and reducing risk behavior: a systematic review”, Educational Psychology Review, Vol. 25 No. 1, pp.95–114. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-013-9216-4 DuBois, D. L., Portillo, N., Rhodes, J. E., Silverthorn, N., & Valentine, J. C. (2011), “How effective are mentoring programs for youth? a systematic assessment of the evidence”, Psychological Science in the Public Interest, Vol. 12, pp.57–91. https://doi.org/10.1177/1529100611414806 Karcher, M. J. (2007), “Cross-age peer mentoring”, Research in Action, Vol. 7 No. 1, pp.3–24. http://www.mentoring.org Karcher, M. J. (2009), “Increases in academic connectedness and self-esteem among high school students who serve as cross-age peer mentors”, Professional School Counseling, Vol. 2 No. 4, pp.292–299. https://doi.org/10.1177/2156759X0901200403 Karcher, M. J., & Nakkula, M. J. (2010), “Youth mentoring with a balanced focus, shared purpose, and collaborative interactions”, New Directions for Youth Development, Vol. 26, pp.13–32. https://doi.org/10.1002/yd.347 Rhodes, J. E. (2005), “A model of youth mentoring”, DuBois, D. L. and Karcher, M. J. (Eds.), Handbook of Youth Mentoring, Sage, Thousand Oaks, CA. Spencer, R. (2012), “A working model of mentors’ contributions to youth mentoring relationship quality: insights from research on psychotherapy”, Learning Landscapes, Vol. 5 No. 2, pp.295–312. https://doi.org/10.36510/learnland.v5i2.567 Sunderman, A. (2025), “Mentee Perceptions of Informal Mentoring Relationships, Well-Being, and Belonging Occurring During High School and Post-Graduation: A Case Study”, https://ProQuest.com Younginer, S. T., & Elledge, L. C. (2021), “Mentor personality and attachment as correlates of youth mentoring relationship quality within a school‐based mentoring intervention: the moderating role of negative interactions”, Journal of Community Psychology, Vol. 49 No. 7, pp.2569–2589. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcop.22654 |
